BIGGER Helia
I feel I owe a few of you guys a little explanation, for the reason why I have been acting “ready” but then staying a bit distant. I have to tell you, my aloofness is not due to not wanting to get together with you. On the contrary, I feel extraordinarily drawn to a friendly rendezvous with you and hope in the future the planning will come to fruition. I have told only one of my closet net friends about what has been going on, something I informed of him months ago, and feel the need to tell my other close friends now.
Just after the beginning of the year, I started actually growing again. Growing in the chest region. Hard to believe that after my condition remained what seemed in submission for all this time, poof, it rears up. It was no surprise to my doctor, stating often when hormonal changes occur, especially in the rare minority of women who actually have the rare condition (macromastia), the condition (hormonal imbalance) can re-surface. You don’t have to be going through puberty to have it happen.
Yes yes yes. You may and will find it hard to believe. Myself--as my friend Tige can back me up--I have been both in a state of depression and anxiety, and excitement over the expansion of my already enormous "girls". I think it is my fascination with it all that makes me feel so ill at ease sometimes. This is a fantasy but reality, and when I am thinking straight, it all seems awkward and somewhat a curse.
So I’ve been getting bigger since about February. I have been on and off medication. The meds probably screw me up worse because they keep every hormones in check, including emotional. I have also gained a lot of weight, nearly 60 pounds (about 35 is breast weight. REALLY!). I’m not shy about my body so I can admit, yeah, I’ve gotten a bit chubby.
So what I am saying to my dear friends is that I hope you will not be annoyed at me for my topsy-turvy mindset, the eagerly anticipated meetings then the no-email-in-days letdown, or lack of definite plans. I have been both nervous and excited to tell you this truth of the current happenings in my life. They are crazy. They are outrageous…but they are me. Bizarre as I seem to be.
I hope you all will continue to write. I hope I haven’t alienated anyone too much. You are all special to me.
Sometimes life is stranger than fiction.
Just after the beginning of the year, I started actually growing again. Growing in the chest region. Hard to believe that after my condition remained what seemed in submission for all this time, poof, it rears up. It was no surprise to my doctor, stating often when hormonal changes occur, especially in the rare minority of women who actually have the rare condition (macromastia), the condition (hormonal imbalance) can re-surface. You don’t have to be going through puberty to have it happen.
Yes yes yes. You may and will find it hard to believe. Myself--as my friend Tige can back me up--I have been both in a state of depression and anxiety, and excitement over the expansion of my already enormous "girls". I think it is my fascination with it all that makes me feel so ill at ease sometimes. This is a fantasy but reality, and when I am thinking straight, it all seems awkward and somewhat a curse.
So I’ve been getting bigger since about February. I have been on and off medication. The meds probably screw me up worse because they keep every hormones in check, including emotional. I have also gained a lot of weight, nearly 60 pounds (about 35 is breast weight. REALLY!). I’m not shy about my body so I can admit, yeah, I’ve gotten a bit chubby.
So what I am saying to my dear friends is that I hope you will not be annoyed at me for my topsy-turvy mindset, the eagerly anticipated meetings then the no-email-in-days letdown, or lack of definite plans. I have been both nervous and excited to tell you this truth of the current happenings in my life. They are crazy. They are outrageous…but they are me. Bizarre as I seem to be.
I hope you all will continue to write. I hope I haven’t alienated anyone too much. You are all special to me.
Sometimes life is stranger than fiction.
posted by Helia A Melonowski at 11:14 AM
6 Comments:
I have a new current photo up at my miniscule little site. I had to crop it due to Freeservers has standards I must follow to post stuff.
*blush* aye, I can back you up on this. I know it's been difficult, but I've tried to help you keep a positive spirit. :) (Hope I did a good job! ;) )
of course I'll continue to write... :) and I haven't been alienated in any fashion... *pokes my skin to make sure it's still human* nope, no alien there... :D jk jk! :)
Probably not. I guess I was more talking about that you all would be mad at me, not understanding what was going on...or maybe shying away when you did find out what was going on.
nah... we're your friends, Helia. :) nothing to be shy about... or mad about.. :)
*hug*
*re-reads blog entry* err... I was in a closet?! *chuckle* jk jk! I know what you meant though..sometimes those S's can get tricky... :D ;)
Amazing. I think that's the only word that comes to mind.
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