The problem with JUMBO SHRIMP

I went out to eat with a few friends the other night. We went to the local RED LOBSTER where I haven't eaten in ages. I am a big fan of shrimp so I got the Jumbo Shrimp appetizer. It came with 6 shrimp and because I'm a little piggy I added two more pieces (ended up an expensive appetizer). The very first shrimp I forked...plip...it slid off my fork and...plop...right in my cleavage. Everyone got a good laugh including myself...with a little red face. I managed to re-skewer the first shrimp (after removing it from my flesh canyon) and got it to my motuh successfully. Second shrimp...plip plop...lost it again right between the boobs. NO WAY I was thinking and scolding myself for looking like such a slob. Someone offered to get me a bib.

Anyway, with some finesse (and trying to hide my embarrassment), I was able to eat all the shrimp without further ado...until the last two shrimp...which ended up cradled in my cleavage, one at a time.

It's nice to have a shelf to catch food particles...but it sucks having to take a shower once home because you can't get food into the right place, ie, your mouth.

*sigh* Just another day in the life... :)

Bumpers for elbows and the Gym

I went to a gym on a guest pass with a girl friend of mine. Got into what they called a BUMP-N-SLIDE class, like a aerobics class on steroids. Even with a bra, a tight t-shirt and a looser but still fairly snug tank tee over that, I was bouncing and behavin' all over. Though it held up, I am sure there are some stress fractures in the straps of my poor brassiere. We also spent some time hitting some of the weight machines. It is always kind of funny the looks I get on machines like the bench lift/press (whatever you call it) and the rowing machine. The place was pretty packed...obviously people are still holding to their new years resolution so far...and I actually took a few jabs to the boobs trying to either squeeze my way between people or simply getting off on the wrong side of the machine and catching a upper cut as the person next to me was lifting. UNGH! Sometimes its rough having so much frontage.

And I hope the fellas liked the display...my hi-beams burn bright when they get such a jostle of activity... :)

I have fallen in love

A close friend of mine shared some photos from Mastasia.com, a site for enormously super-endowed women. Real or not, I instantly fell in love with the Mastasia model MINDY. I love Mindy. I want to be Mindy. I want to have Mindy's enormous breasts hanging off my little ribcage, pulling me off my feet, slapping like giant flesh cymbals when I walk, using two bars of soap up to wash them each time I take a shower, exploding out of every shirt, blouse, sweater and t-shirt, having two of the biggest pool floats, having them be engorged with milk and hosing down the whole city.

Mindy is me. I am Mindy. But you can call me Helia.